with a hey, ho, the wind & the rain

We're at a hotel now. Luckily our insurance plan is really good. They're putting us up here till tomorrow, and we get to stay in an appartment in Quincy for about a year or so while the house gets rebuilt.

Thanks for all the kind words, I appreciate them a lot. My friends have been amazing; lending me clothes, money, their time, their homes, making me laugh.

Rosie did end up dying, but the little kitten did make it (I had thought she died at the house) and is doing well besides a twitch that might go away. Shadow's with the neighbors, I'm going to visit him tomorrow.

I'm doing alright, been drifting in and out of it and having trouble focusing. I'm sticking with my classes and gonna do my damndest to get good grades. Missing Lovebone a lot, but that will heal. I miss the other animals too, they were a significant part of my life, but Lovebone was my baby. The dogs were that to my dad, and the cats to my mom.

Otherwise I'm doing pretty well emotionally. Losing my material things doesn't phase me; I can (and will) spend time at the library, and as for the writing I'm just gonna start over as soon as I can.

So when we get set up at the apartment I'll be back online and pick up reading/commenting where I left off. And thanks again for caring, you guys ♥

Life is...I don't know. It is. Saw Eric the other day, which was cool. The bunnies missed him, and Eric is the only person Lovebone will let pick him up and hold him without a fuss. For those who don't know Lovebone, he's one of my two bunnies, and I love him ever so much.



A few weeks ago I went to the Museum of Fine Arts Boston with Ashley, which was great fun. I probably like ancient Greek vases a little too much. Virtually all ancient Greek art, for that matter. Lately I've been branching out more and getting familiar with ancient Middle East/Mediterranian civilization in general; it's really interesting to me and gives valuable context for a lot of later history.

I picked up a book called The Social and Political Doctrines of Contemporary Europe for two dollars at the thrift store. It was published in 1942, and there's an inscription written in pencil that says: "for son, Christmas 1943". Hitler and Mussolini had started losing but WWII was still in full swing. It's really interesting to read what people were writing about back then.

Oh god I gotta recover my imagination and memory for typing, this update is boring as shit.

I cut my cuticle with a nail-clipper and it doesn't hurt at all but is bleeding rather profusely..Every few seconds I have to stop typing to lick it off...maybe that's not the most sanitary thing to do but, meh.

So the "complete" Essays of Schopenhauer I picked up secondhand isn't complete at all. Several essays are abridged and his major works aren't there. That irritates me, but the volume of work included does amount to several hundred pages and $10 is still a great bargain for it. Some of Shopenhauer's social views made me want to kick him in the shins, and reading how great he knows he is gets tiresome sometimes, but he does bring up illuminating points and I'm very interested in what he has to say. When I'm done reading Kant, I'm picking up Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung and Parerga und Paralipomena

Anyway, that's enough about my silly books.

A couple of weeks ago Ashley and I went to the Museum of Fine Arts Boston. It was a great time, save for some random guy interrupting a conversation we were having about this painting to inform us in crude words that the painting portrays exactly what happens in the Inferno (which isn't true: there is no tiger, but a leopard, and the beasts are anything but afraid of Dante and Virgil) and that in any case the painting is meaningless. I love talking to people if they have something legitimate to say. That particular guy, however, was just being a dick without making any point and advertising that he's stupid and a poor liar (kept insisting he's read the Comedy). We had to wonder why he even bothered to visit the museum.

I quit my job, and am not too worried about it. Relieved, more than anything. It was beginning to really depress me. Honestly all I want to do this summer is become fluent in German and able to at least read latin competently. I've got some money saved, and several opportunities within my grasp but I haven't even begun thinking about deciding and don't want to jinx them. Let's just say I'm probably going to be traveling.

Someone I've never been able to successfuly get over is back in my life, and my heart is on the chopping block. Whatever happens is fine by me. I don't need a heart.

Trudi got the bus tickets and tickets for the play, so it's set. I'm going to New York (for the first time ever, can you believe it?) on April 13th!

I stood up that guy and I don't feel too bad about it. ::shrug::

Spent $90 in amazon.com, which I really shouldn't have but damnit I felt entitled to treat myself since I've been working and doing favors for people nonstop for two weeks!

I've been to the local library a couple times recently. Checked out a 476 page collection of Immanuel Kant's writing, a collection of Descartes, and A Short History of Mythology by Karen Armstrong; the authoress of A History of God. The more I read about this woman, and the more of her writing I read, the more I like her. I'd go so far as to say Karen Armstrong one of my heroines. I'm also really interested in Kant right now, though it's too early to say whether I like him or not. "There shall not be war" is a categorical imperative I approve of, though.

On top of that, and magazines, I'm reading Hyperspace by Micho Kaku. My friend Ashley lent it to me, and it's quite a read. Ashley's an art history major at Suffolk, and she's also big into physics. She explains/eludicates physics concepts to me, because oh my word I cannot learn or apply the formulas for the life of me, and I help her out the same way with philosophy and mythology. We have good discussions cause we're both big ole' geeks. She understands how heavy stuff like hypercubes, paradoxes, and profound stories literally hurt to read sometimes in all their amazing glory. And she got me into Iron Maiden, almost against my will.

Since I can't deface write in books which don't belong to me, I take extensive notes, and get weird looks when people find out that I'm not doing homework.

Spent the day with Jeremy yesterday, most of it in Borders. As difficult as it was, I restrained myself from buying anything. You know how women are stereotypically obsessed with buying shoes? That's me with books, fashioning my mind rather than my feet.

I'm really tired, and need some time to myself. Hopefully nothing will come up tomorrow, which I'm supposed to have off. Just like I was supposed to have today off, and last tuesday off, and this past Saturday... Gotta learn how to say no to people.

-Jeremy's friends really like me, according to him. I'm glad; I like them too.

-Trudi invited me to travel to New York with her and a couple friends to see Moon for the Misbegotten. I really want to go (in theory) because I've never seen any of Eugene Oneill's plays acted out before and I like that one a lot. When it comes down to spending $100+ for the bus and a ticket to the play, and spending a night or two in a strange place away from my routine...we'll see. I was supposed to go with my friend Katy to protest in Washington DC this weekend then I crapped out on that...like I said, we'll see.

-I met a man who recently moved here from Bethlehem. His name is Masaer. Friendly guy, interesting to talk to. He wants to see me on Saturday. I agreed, but hope he didn't get the wrong idea. I don't think he did, I think that he just wants to make some friends around here. Masaer reminds me of Mudafer (Lebanese mechanic who I occasionally talk philosophy with, not so much since I lost the car though), which is a positive thing.

-Tomorrow I work 9:45-5 then I have to go out with everyone from work to a farewell dinner for our manager, who quit. Well, I don't have to, but I feel socially obligated.

-as for my intellectual life...why even try to explain something I can't even formulate into coherency? haha I'll try later.

Two movies worth seeing: Bobby, and Notes on a Scandal

Spent the afternoon/evening with Jeremy and Trudi. They're both awesome.

Scott Weiland's solo cd is really good, especially the somg "Barbarella", which I've had on repeat for about 20 minutes.

First Night doesn't really affect me. The years of my life are measured by my birthdays, the days by my work schedule, the months by the moon. Otherwise, real time doesn't hold my attention much. Besides, I don't party and usually retire to my room well before midnight.

I don't really have any "New Year's resolutions". Merely the lifetime resolutions I've developed as I've grown. One resolution I've really come a long way with is acceptance and appreciation of life, though I've still a long way to go.

Well, now. I began typing this at around quarter to twelve, and now my computer says it's midnight. And the drunks next door are now singing. Guess I'll go have my first Lucky Strike of 2007, as though that means a damn thing.

Peace out

What do Ludwig van Beethoven, Bill Hicks, Jane Austin, and educate_sedate have in common?

Why, being born on December 16th!

I'm 21 years old as of today. Jeremy's taking me out for my ceremonial first legal drink, but I don't plan on getting drunk or anything. It's gonna be the first year I actually do anything on my birthday in several years. Yay friends!

Trudi gave me a mix cd she made, soap from Portugal, and bought me a slice of cake.
Jeremy gave me the Stone Temple Pilots dvd cd Thank You plus the sweetest birthday card ever.

The STP footage on the dvd kicks ass.

Happy Hanukkah to the Jews out there. From what I've been told, Hanukkah isn't really a major holiday; Passover is the most holy Jewish holiday. Just like Christmas isn't especially important to Christians; the resurrection is what their faith revolves around. But holidays observing death don't get people in the mood to spend lots of money, I guess.

An inside joke between Jeremy and me born of this Layne Staley clip: http://youtube.com/watch?v=26zhXzz6Crg

Anyway, here are a few pictures taken on adventures north of Boston with Jeremy:
( Read more... ) The



Posting some pictures cause I promised to. More later.

Oh and a mister "Erwin Rommel" called asking for me today... what a creep. I cant imagine how talking to this guy face-to-face would go.

Pet peeve: why do people feel the need to designate the fact that their classes are "AP", when it has no relevance to what they're asking or talking about? "I have a question about this battle we're talking about in AP history", "Gotta study for my AP physics test". Does that make them feel good about themselves, does it make them feel smart? I've got news for you, "Advanced Placement" doesn't mean shit, especially in high school. The same stuff is taught, only more homework is given. Students are placed in "AP" cause they're good students, not because they're smarter than anyone else; otherwise there would be far fewer people talking about their AP classes.
I don't even know why that irritates me, exactly. It just does.

On Saturday, Jeremy (friend from work who loves AIC and history) and I drove out to Topsfield. Then, on Sunday, we went with two other friends from work out to Marblehead. Both trips were so beautiful. Topsfield is reminiscent of New Hampshire and parts of North Attleboro, and Marblehead is this lovely seaside town. I popped my "driving through downtown Boston" cherry, so now I can handle driving anywhere else in the country :P

My digital camera won't behave, so most of the pictures I got had to be taken with my phone and came out too crappy for my taste. Here are a few, anyway:

( +7 )

Every 11/11 I think of my old friend Sol getting giddy on 11:11pm on 11/11 2003, and dumping a computer monitor out his 4th story dorm window...I think I've mentioned it here every year, heh. That was a fun night. I wonder how Sol is doing; we drifted out of touch about two years after he moved to San Diego and I back to MA. I choose to imagine that he's the same sweet, soft-spoken, funny guy who loves weed and spinning techno. Now I'm thinking about the good times I had in New Hampshire, as though it didn't suck total ass most of the time...revisionist memory, heh.

Closed the gift shop last night, gotta leave soon to open it this morning. Oh joy of joys. They gave me keys to the store and the combination to the safe, even though I don't know how to do the paperwork for the deposits at night. On Wednsday night I'm going to be the one in charge, so I've got till then to figure it out.

I'm doing alright. Lately I don't feel one way or the other long enough to coherently explain how and why I feel as such, so I'll just recall some random moments from the past couple weeks. They have to do with my time spent in downtown Boston, because life at home is boring and I've been slipping back into antisocial/avoidant/not talking to anyone mode (which I'm working on, but when I'm stressed and or unsure of myself I tend to fall back on solitary comforts):

I got to talk to a priest from South Boston and a student from Munich who is studying to become a priest. They were looking for a place to research the history of the clergy in South Boston. Both were very kind and I enjoyed talking to them, especially the student because he was cute and soft spoken and I was thinking "aw why do you have to be celibate, that's such a waste of sexiness!"

One of the guys whose job involves dressing like a colonial and educating people in character--they come into the gift shop to shoot the shit sometimes--is a die-hard Alice in Chains fan, which is awesome. We both got all excited about it and talked about AIC/Layne/that time period for a good 15-20 minutes for what was supposed to be a brief cigarette break. The guy is 29 years old and got to see Alice in Chains live a few times, which I'm jealous of.


Karen Chaney walked into the store unannounced to sign the copies of her her book, cause all the books in that series are supposed to be signed by the author and she hadn't had a chance to sign the batch we had. She, my co-worker and I got into talking about Lizzie Borden and true crime in general. It was a neat conversation. I'd never heard of Ms Chaney before, the woman isn't really famous or anything, but still it's not every day a Harvard Scholar walks into the room and exchanges thoughts with you. Well, unless you go to Harvard...

That's enough for one entry, I suppose. My classes begin tomorrow, but I'm kind of ambivalent about school right now...I don't know, and I'm not sure if I care ::shrug::

später (later)

Eric just called me from work to tell me that he learned the Alice in Chains songs "Rooster", "I Stay Away" and "What the Hell Have I?" for me and I was all "awwww".

My grandmother said last week that she'd come over to get the white bunny, but she never came and I've bonded with the tiny fellow so he's a Poggi now. I've named him Shadow, cause I love the idea of a pure white rabbit being called Shadow. The vet gave him a clean bill of health and said that while he isn't sure at this point, his guess is that Shadow is a boy.


Mister Lovebone is still his chubby, adorable, characteristic self.



Filburt has been having problems with his neck. Or rather, his neck problem from a few months ago never completely went away and it started flaring up again. The vet drained his neck again and said that the infection looks like it's going to go away soon, which I really hope is the case. Filburt is otherwise well.

I mentioned that I got a B- on a literature paper that I put a lot of effort into, and that I was not looking forward to finding out what grade I got on the philosophy paper that I wrote in a tired and confused state. Well, to my pleasant suprise, I ended up getting an A.

O.o

Hell, I'll take it! I love iorny, I really do.

Eric and I (Eric and me? I don't know or care) somehow got to talking about swans today. I joked that those things are the birds of satan, because their beauty is deceptive and they are really nasty birds. I got chased and honked at by one as a kid and I've heard other stories about swans being, well, not nice. Eric was like, "yeah you know how people say, 'the ugly duckling turned into a swan'? It's true, so many average people who become physically beautiful turn into complete bitches/assholes, just like swans." I had never thought of it that way. That's one of the many things I love about Eric; that I'm able to have intelligent, insightful, ridiculous, gross, or geeky conversation with him on a whim. We'll have thoughtful conversations then make fart jokes or go on for ages about Star Wars, it's great.

Anyways, since my professor cancelled tomorrow's class for some reason, I'm on spring break right now. Most people are like, "yeah, spring break, party time!" then there's me who is like, "sweet, I have a whole week to read and paint and write and take pictures as much as I want!" I really am glad though. I have a lot of writing and coloring especially that I can't wait to get started on.

Lastly, here's a picture I took a couple of mornings ago at around 6am. One of the many strange things about me is that I like waking up early, even when I don't need to. I thought it was neat how this tree seemed to be almost basking in its own light:
( just one )

Today I met a mechanic with a degree in philosophy, and that made my day/week/life.

http://jessex.livejournal.com/273251.html#cutid1