with a hey, ho, the wind & the rain

Stephen King on writer's block:

"For the first time ever, the words refused to come," said King. "I decided to break for lunch. I ate an entire ham-and-cheese sandwich and didn't get one idea. Not even a dark, disturbing image. I get three dark, disturbing images just going out on my front step to pick up the morning paper. Now, nothing. It was horrible."

I found that quote sarching for a passage about writer's block from one of his books I read a long time ago, it might be The Mist but I'm not sure. (if anyone knows what I'm talking about and could throw the passage my way or tell me where to find it online, I'd be thankful)

Being unable to express myself creatively is maddening. I'm finally starting to break free of the creative rut I've been mired in for at least a year, writing as much as possible even if it's lame.

LEARN TO SWIM

OH MY GOD, LIFE.

I did it for the lulz

The last couple weeks of spring semester were brutal. I had to write 20+ pages worth of papers, take two 3 hour finals, and one final in the form of an interview with my philosophy teacher in which I feel I came off as really stupid. The history final went so poorly that I may fail the class. I have a tendency to start off really well then end up disappointing my teachers...I'm just relieved that it's all over and feel accomplished for showing up for all my finals and passing everything in on time for once. I really do want to get more familiar with Aristotle and straighten out my comprehension of the middle ages and renaissance, which I'm going to try to do over the summer.

I'm reading Spenser's The Faerie Queene, which I got for Christmas and haven't had the time to get into until now, and it's pretty difficult. The early modern English isn't the problem--it's easier than Chaucer-- but there's a lot going on that's hard to keep up with without study guides. I've found a couple of good ones online, and I might buy or take from the library the Cambridge Companion to Spenser.

Went to see a performance of King John last week, which I enjoyed. In my opinion that's one of Shakespeare's most underrated plays.

People have been on my ass to hang out lately. I'm gonna try to get out more this summer, and be a better friend. although my friends were all absent during the three worst months of my life, when I really needed it

I'm not even gonna pretend that I'm looking for work. I'm just not capable of it right now.

There might have been more to tell but I can't remember.

The last couple weeks of spring semester were brutal. I had to write 20+ pages worth of papers, take two 3 hour finals, and one final in the form of an interview with my philosophy teacher in which I feel I came off as really stupid. The history final went so poorly that I may fail the class. I have a tendency to start off really well then end up disappointing my teachers...I'm just relieved that it's all over. I really do want to get more familiar with Aristotle and straighten out my comprehension of the middle ages and rennisannce, which I'm going to try to do over the summer.

I'm reading Spenser's The Faerie Queene, which I got for Christmas and haven't had the time to get into until now, and it's pretty difficult. The early modern English isn't the problem--it's easier than Chaucer-- but there's a lot going on that's hard to keep up with without study guides. I've found a couple of good ones online, and I might buy or take from the library the Cambridge Companion to Spenser.

Went to see a performance of King John last week, which I enjoyed. In my opinion that's one of Shakespeare's most underrated plays.

People have been on my ass to hang out lately. I'm gonna try to get out more this summer, and be a better friend.

I'm not even gonna pretend that I'm looking for work. I'm just not capable of it right now.

There might have been more to tell but I can't remember.

Let's see... a pair of black doc marten boots, a pair of ratty brown shoes(these and the docs survived the fire, miraculously) a pair of black converse high-top sneakers, a pair of black and white keds, and a couple pairs of sandals, plus two pairs of slippers. I've never owned much footwear, and don't really get why so many women are obsessed with collecting shoes.

Alright, I finished my King Lear paper. Two weeks late, no excuse for that. I don't even care about grades this semester, so long as I don't get an F then I'm satisfied. Now I can go back to reading The Shakespeare Wars and Timon of Athens, maybe watch Hamlet tonight cause I'm in the mood for it. I'm re-thinking taking the Shakespeare course next semester because I can see this happening again. But there's so much that a scholar can point out to me, and I've waited so long to get a place in that course cause it always fills up right away. I'll most likely stick with it, it's just right now I have no confidence in myself and I'm all a-flustered because of the whirlwind of finals and papers and personal stuff I have to get through these next few weeks. When something I love becomes a chore, I become averse to it, which is probably a sign I need to grow up some. I've been attending college on and off for 5 years now and I still haven't got my shit together. I feel like I'm running the Red Queen's race.

Bear with me, I'll be in a better mood and my entries will be less crazy soon.

I've never been so happy to get a B (on that embarassment of a paper on de Anima) or to weigh 135lbs (that's large for me but I thought that after the past couple weeks I'd be a lot heavier. I'm neurotic and hypocritical about my weight, but i won't apologize for it)

This King Lear paper is haunting me though...I don't know what the problem is, I've read the entire play at least four times, and watched it more than that. Just hit a nasty snag and I can't bring myself to write more than the page and a half I forced out the other day. Well I'd better come up with it soon, cause it's ruining my normal Shakespeare reading and watching; I get really anxious when I pick up the anthology or any essay books and that is not cool.

At least I finished the Equus assignment on time. That play is overrated.

I really want this semester to be over. NOW.

wikid garden: i can has cyanide?
Hottfuzz1220: no loljess

One thing I like about the condo we're living in is that there are lots of robins about. I love taking pictures of them.

This is me blowing off class *waves* I've been pretty good about attending this semester, so I don't feel too bad about taking a mental health day. Spent the long weekend in Alexandria, VA with my uncle and father, and though I got fed well (too well!) and had some fun wandering around Washington DC, it wasn't very restful. Most of the time I was indoors trying to catch up on coursework and freaking out about two papers and an exam due for Tuesday. One of those papers I still haven't completed yet. A paper on King Lear, shamefully enough.

I took pictures in DC, but who in the world doesn't know what the monuments look like? The Vietnam Memorial really got to me. It nicked my heart a bit to see people walking by and giving it a quick glance over. I wanted to read every single name. I felt guilty leaving. Those names of the dead are there forever, fixed in the memory of death, day and night. It feels like returning to my life and everyday concerns is a sort of betrayal. It's like, how can you just walk away from that? I get the same feeling walking away from cemeteries.

Yesterday some seminar on Jesus co-opted the classroom, so my Aristotle class was held outside. Haven't had a class outside since middle school, so that was neat.

My uncle has hundreds of books and gave me permission to take home any that I pleased. Needless to say, I took many :) Mostly scifi and historical fiction. I've already started my summer reading with Byzantium by Stephen R. Lawhead. It's pretty good so far. It will help me stay of the damn internet and get me back in the mood for reading academic stuff. I've been spending entire days watching Doctor Who reruns and Rik Mayall&Adrian Edmondson sketches online, and lurking livejournal. So, yeah, back to my book.

William Shakespeare♥

I've been sleeping 12+ hours each day lately and feeling ridiculously tired the other 12...not good. Going to a doctor yet again this week, and I suspect he'll inform me I'm still anemic.

Went to the Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum yesterday with Adam. It was neat. The indoor garden is beautiful, though I only got one photo of it before being sternly informed that pictures of the garden are not allowed. Personally I think it's really stupid to ban photography of flowers (the art I can understand), it's not going to ruin them. BAN CELL PHONES The rest are from around the vicinity of the museum:

( +8 )

Sister, daughter, resident crazy person and "Don't be like her" model. Bunny custodian. Housekeeper. The weird, bookish, perpetually single one.

8/22/67-4/5/02


2/20/*67 – 4/5/94 (thanks nietzsche

Whenever I notice people all astonished that Heath Ledger was found surrounded with drugs, I think "well at least he wasn't found decomposing with his cats eating his eyeballs, or with his head blasted"

Here are a few pictures I took at the marsh behind my condo. I only had the memory card that came with the camera so could only retain 4, but I have a new and better one now and next time there will be more:

( +4 )</a

Robert Fagles died :(
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/29/books/29fagles.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

Few will care but he's my favorite classics translator (I'm not fluent in ancient greek or latin, I mean accessibility and reccomendation/credentials-wise his stuff is top notch).

I was just flipping through my Iliad to see where Homer mentions the soul, too.

He's brilliant, I'm bummed there will be no more translations or essays coming from him.

...a Lyceum for a stage!

My medicine is giving me headaches, my indoor allergies are acting up, and I'm not even halfway done writing on De Anima for tomorrow...ugh. All that studying and pondering and neglecting my other work for that treatise over break sure did me a hell lot of good :/ I really can't handle this right now, so I'm going to take a walk with my new camera to clear my head then give it another go.

I am emphatically not a christian, yet my professor commented that my Chaucer paper was "too dogmatic"...hey man, I was only trying to explicate the religious/moral part of what the narrator is getting at. Also I let a "right good" slip in there and he commented on the "idiom?". I definately watch too much BBC and stalk their message boards too much :P I got an A- despite the crappy condition I was in when I wrote it, so it's all good.

You know, if Bejing is so evil wouldn't it have been more profitable to bring up this sort of thing WHEN THEY WERE DECIDING WHERE TO HOLD THE OLYMPICS?? It parallels how citizens sleep through presidential campaigns and then when they wake up to see what criminal they let weasel in everyone's all GTFO. If I'm not mistaken, France, which is now threatening to boycott the games, was on the Olympic committee that ignored human rights groups and gave Bejing the go-ahead. Oh, but now China is kicking the West's collective ass on the economic & technological stage and we don't approve! I'm sure they'd be all about holding the next Olympics in Saudi Arabia.

My father ordered me a new camera and it's coming any day now. I'm excited. Can't wait to get back into photography :)

Had a doctor's appointment today. Only I would get into a conversation with a gastroenterologist about the Finnish War, then drama, then french/latin/german languages...Turns out history is this man's real passion, especially the 20th century. He brought up drama, asking me if I did any acting or was into theatre, and said I had the look about me of someone who was passionate about that sort of stuff. It was so random, but flattering to hear. He's not the first person to say something like that to me, strangely enough. I would love to act and/or teach, if only I could get over my horror of speaking up in front of groups.

Got to see a picture of my ulcers, which apparently from a medical perspective are "beautiful" specimens. In the gastrointestional field they call them "flowering" ulcers. Well, I can honor that even if I don't percieve it; I imagine it's a lot like the feeling I get from classic art or beautiful verse or a finely nuanced story.

Happy Easter, if you're into that. I forgot today was going to be Easter Sunday until I woke up to candy and a bunny pillow at my door. Easter's like Halloween jr to my family, we don't go to church or have a big dinner but we just give each other candy. Since I bunnyspammed my LJ a few days ago, I'll spare you pictures of my easter bun today :-)

A Midsummer Night's dream is in Massachusetts this April and I'm totally going. This isn't going to be like the last time Tool came around and I bought a ticket then didn't go. I might ask my grandmother to take me. She played Puck in her girls' school performance many years ago, I think she'd enjoy it. Adam N said he'd take me, but he's not big into Shakespeare and wasn't thrilled watching Richard III when we drove down to Providence to see that, so I won't make him take me if I can get a ride from someone more enthusiastic. Other Shakespeare plays are coming up too, and I'm likewise going to be all over that.

My Aristotle teacher sent us this Orwell essay on King Lear+Tolstoy, which I find pretty neat/convinent of him. It's more relevant to my Lear reading than any deeper understanding of N. Ethics, but I can see why he'd have the class read it.

I only got through about half of what I wanted to get done this week, though I probably wanted to do too much. Got everything done that I had to, at least. Did manage to relax a little, and get out some. Classes pick up again tomorrow so today the plan is to rest, by which I mean watch documentaries and read poetry. Maybe take a walk, if I'm feeling frisky.